


Angel

by idrilhadhafang



Series: The Broken Edge [10]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, poe's fantasies, rusty writing skills, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 00:45:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10231736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ten moments from Ben Solo and Poe Dameron's relationship.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Wild Card -- Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

1\. Even after they finally get out of Lisaris' clutches, Poe Dameron doesn't forget how close Ben was to taking off his shirt.   
  
It's just after Ben's killed the guard who beat Poe -- the guard who lost his son thanks to one of Poe's missions -- one wave of the hand and the cuffs are off. Poe rubs his wrists, dazed that those things are finally off, and grins up at Ben. "Ben...hey."  
  
"Hey."  
  
Ben helps him up. His hands are, gently, on his upper arms, drawing him in close while trying not to crush him. And Ben is so close to him that Poe can feel his body heat, and his heart starts to flutter. Does Ben even know what he's doing, standing so close to him...  
  
"They hurt you." And Ben sounds outraged, furious as he says it.   
  
Poe grins at him. "I got banged up, but nothing I couldn't handle. Don't worry, Ben."   
  
Even the broken rib isn't anything that he can't handle. Just a broken rib. He's suffered worse on missions. Never mind that it hurts like hell. Never mind that his side feels like hell. Everything feels like hell, but he's suffered worse. Nothing he can't handle.   
  
Ben raises a hand, and that large hand, that hand that Ben's always hated for seeming clumsy, feels almost as if it's caressing the side of his face. Poe's breath hitches. Does Ben have any idea what he's doing, being this close?   
  
"It's just going to be to heal your wounds," Ben says. "What those monsters did to you."  
  
"Right." It doesn't change how close Ben is to him. It doesn't change how his hand is like a caress against his face.   
  
Poe can't help but wince even as the Force pours healing energy -- what feels like pure pain -- into his wounds, but at least, touching his face, his lip isn't split anymore. The swelling in his eye has gone down too.   
  
"I'm just going to work on your rib," Ben says. "This might hurt."  
  
"Right."  
  
It's as he goes to work on Poe's rib that Poe is keenly aware of how close Ben is to his side. How close Ben is to either touching his side or taking off his shirt and then touching his side. His breath hitches again, and he's almost grateful -- almost -- to Lisaris for interrupting.   
  
Long after they escape Lisaris' clutches, the incident is enough to haunt Poe's dreams, which already have gotten pretty filthy. In the dream, Ben removes his shirt. Poe can feel those dark eyes surveying him, taking in his frame with some sort of desire. It's the sort of look that's enough to drive Poe mad. Then Ben's voice. " _You're just as beautiful as I thought you'd be_."   
  
Ben touches him. The pain of his broken rib is excruciating, but Ben's touch is positively exquisite. It's a strange mix of pleasure and pain. His other hand -- his other hand just does some absolutely wicked things to Poe, prolonging that feeling. Poe always wakes up sweaty and craving Ben's touch. His dreams are a strange mix of nightmares and erotic dreams -- more specifically, erotic dreams about Ben.   
  
It's safe to say that it makes for a very unsettling experience waking up.   
  
2\. While Poe's still laid up for injuries from when he was tortured, Ben does whatever he can to look after him. He still hasn't forgotten that whole feeling of terror just hearing Poe being tortured down the hall -- in a way, Lisaris got what he wanted out of Ben. Getting him angry, making him feel helpless and afraid. To think that Lisaris did this to Poe for the sake of trying to hurt him...  
  
It only makes him hate Lisaris even more. And he's grateful that Lisaris is being put away. He just hopes that Lisaris never, ever gets out. If there's any justice in this galaxy  
  
 _and there isn't. a just galaxy wouldn't have had Poe be tortured, or Thomas be killed_  
  
But he looks after Poe. He can't quite vocalize his feelings -- these feelings about how wonderful Poe is to him, how precious -- but he can do what he can to look after him. He calls him on the terminal when he can -- Poe's currently restless, and the nightmares are making it worse. But he can comfort him. Update him on stories from the Academy, listen, bring over Poe's favorite foods and watch a vapid holo with him, comfort him when he needs it.   
  
He can be there. He just wishes that he could have shielded Poe from every blow, every bit of torture, every bit of pain. That's the worst part. Not any torture that Lisaris could have inflicted on him. Lisaris would never be as crude to do that. He'd just force Ben to listen, force him to watch.   
  
Ben doesn't know if Lisaris knew his feelings for Poe. But Lisaris knew where to strike. Because he loves Poe.   
  
He loves him.  
  
He's struck with the force of it. He loves Poe. And by the Force, he would do anything to make sure that Poe's never, ever hurt again.   
  
So he goes over to his place more. And he thinks that he can see the occasional cracks of a smile from Poe -- he just wishes he could have the strength to tell him. _I love you._ _You mean the galaxy to me. I_ adore _you._ But he's too much of a coward.   
  
Too slow, too cowardly, too weak. Untalented, mediocre. He couldn't even beat Lisaris quickly enough to save Thomas. He's a Jedi. If he can't save others, what is he good for? Nothing.   
  
Annie tries to tell him that it's not his fault. But Ben knows that he could have done more.   
  
He can save Poe, though. He can sit with him and watch a holo, he can listen to Poe's frustrations and nightmares and fears. He can be there in the middle of the night -- it's not like he's sleeping anyway -- just to listen to Poe when he can't sleep. He can be there. By the stars, he can be there.   
  
  
  
3\. The reality of their relationship makes the fantasies pale in comparison (even the X-rated ones), but it doesn't mean that there isn't stuff that inevitably makes Poe upset. Ben stumbling on his doorstep about to pass out is one of them, and even as Poe catches him in his arms, it's not like the first time they kissed where at least Poe could appreciate having a gorgeous Jedi -- and Ben is gorgeous -- in his arms. He's scared for Ben.   
  
He gets Ben inside, and the moment Ben's inside and at the table, he practically devours the food that Poe's set in front of him.   
  
"So you didn't even eat before you went?" Poe says.   
  
Ben shakes his head. He's already practically stuffing food into his mouth.  
  
"Ben," Poe says, "You need food."  
  
It's after Ben's finished all but wolfing the food down that he says, "I can't afford to let anything slow me down, Poe. I can't fail against Lisaris."  
  
"You didn't fail. And it's not your fault, you know. About Thomas."  
  
"I could have been quicker. Stronger."   
  
"Lisaris had a lot more training on you, on any of us. It's not your fault, Ben."  
  
Ben nods. He doesn't look quite like he believes it.  
  
Poe leans over and puts a hand over his. "Look," he says, " "You can't function against Lisaris if you've barely eaten and drank."  
  
Silence. Ben seems to be considering it.   
  
"I know I sound like I'm nagging," Poe says, "But I love you, and I want you to be all right. I'm looking out for you."  
  
A slight smile from Ben. "I know."  
  
  
  
4\. Poe definitely wishes he could see Ben's arms under better circumstances even as the latter peels back sleeves in order to allow Poe to treat his wounds from the training module. They're beautifully shaped, muscular arms, and any part of Ben's beautiful body is enough to make him all but wild. Back when dreams represented what Poe thought their relationship would be like, Ben's body haunted him quite a bit. Lean, lithe, muscular, strong -- Ben thinks he's too skinny, too pale, but he has no idea how lovely his body is.  
  
Still, he patches Ben up. There is something pleasurable, in a strange way, about putting bacta on the burns on Ben's arms, feeling the solid muscle underneath. Ben is strong, built like the Guardian he is. There's also something pleasurable about massaging Ben, like Dad used to do for Mom when she was stressed. Running his hands over Ben's shoulders, his broad back, and getting the kinks out. Ben is so beautifully built, and though relieving his tension is Poe's top priority...dear Force does he love Ben's body as well. Ben's body is like art. Ben himself is like art.   
  
More importantly, Ben is incredibly precious. Even as he slumps in Poe's lap, Poe playing with his hair, Poe says, "How do you feel?”  
  
“Better. Really good.” Ben sounds tired in that moment, blessed out.   
  
“That’s good. I know I’m worrying about you a lot, Ben, but I just want you to be happy. To be safe. You deserve that happiness, and I mean that, with all my heart.”  
  
"You deserve...happiness too.”  
  
“I’ll get there. Hopefully.”   
  
“I can stay with you, if it keeps the nightmares away.”  
  
“You should get back.”  
  
“Just for the night...can I stay? Just to help you through this.”  
  
“Just for the night.”  
  
Ben stays, and until the vision about Lisaris disrupts them both, their peaceful sleep is practically Iego to both of them.   
  
  
5\. It's after Poe has one of his nightmares that he calls up Ben, and Ben doesn't need to hear anything else before he's at Poe's house. He practically sweeps Poe into his arms, and Poe is engulfed in how much Ben loves him, how much he means to Ben, in his comfort. Finally, he draws away, and says, "What was your dream about, Poe? Tell me."  
  
Poe does. Talks about his latest mission, talks about the latest being he killed, and he already wonders what Ben will think of him, but there is nothing but compassion in Ben's eyes. Then, "You're not a murderer."  
  
"I just wish I hadn't killed them."  
  
"You're a good person, Poe. You are. Don't ever think of yourself as otherwise."  
  
"I suppose." Poe sighs. "I just want this to stop."  
  
"It's got to. I mean, it can't go on forever."  
  
"No. It won't."  
  
"I can stay with you, if it keeps the nightmares away."  
  
 _Stay._ How he longs for Ben's presence, for his touch, for the warmth of his body. Ben is calming. He's not a nightmare cure-all, but he's calming. Then, "No problem."  
  
"Just lie down, Poe."  
  
Poe lies down on the bed. Ben's hand threads through his hair, tenderly, gently, and the repetition is enough to lull Poe into sleep. Poe sighs contentedly -- he loves Ben's touch. Ben has always been so afraid of breaking him. But Ben could never break him. And Poe loves his hands. Those hands can do a whole number of lovely things, and right now, they stroke his hair so gently and caress him so tenderly. Ben's voice is a low rumble, soothing Poe into sleep, and Poe knows that Ben's his safety, Ben's his anchor -- as he is Ben's in turn.   
  
Poe falls asleep in Ben's arms, knowing that no matter what, he is safe with Ben, safe and cherished and adored.   
  
  
  
6\. His nights are usually filled with nightmares and pain from what's happened on his missions, and the beings he's ended up killing in combat. Those are the dreams and regrets that Poe Dameron has. But there is something about sleeping next to Ben that's enough to calm him. Others probably comment about the fact that Ben goes over to Poe's house a lot and spends the night there, but it doesn't matter. They're happy. For the most part.   
  
Yeah. Ben is a comfort. Ben is enough to make him feel as if he can face all this. They talk about angels on Iego, and Ben...Ben is an angel for Poe. As beautiful as one. As good as one. Someone who, when the nightmares get really bad, is there to comfort him, love him, even sleep beside him to keep the nightmares away.   
  
Poe lies down, watching Ben as the latter sleeps peacefully, half a smile on those full lips. He looks so at rest, so peaceful as he sleeps and it's enough to melt Poe just looking at him.   
  
Ben's breathing is steady, deep. His sleep shirt stretches over his chest, over his stomach, and Poe longs for his touch. Ben's touch, where Poe feels completely safe with him.   
  
He rests next to Ben, propped up on a hand as he watches his lover again. And he whispers softly to him.   
  
"I love you." he says. "I always will."  
  
Here in this bed, this man beside him, Poe momentarily feels like he can fight off the monsters.  
  
  
  
7\. It's one of those instances reading the online rebuttal to Matthew Travis' latest piece of "journalism" that is enough to make Poe smile. Ben doesn't have to do it, he really doesn't. But his lover has had to do it. It's actually a good piece, rebutting every bit of Travis' words while adding in Ben's usual wry humor (Poe has to admit that some lines get a chuckle out of him, if a guilty one because by the stars Ben is going to be in so much trouble for this) and even a bit of that adoration for Poe that seems to leak through a lot.   
  
"Ben Solo, you magnificent little son of a murglak." Poe finally says when he's done. "You really did it."  
  
"You read it?" Ben's voice, from behind him. Poe turns around and embraces him, taking in the scent of his robe.   
  
"I love you, you know," Poe murmurs.   
  
Ben chuckles, before nuzzling against Poe's hair.   
  
Finally, they pull away and Poe says, "You didn't have to do this for me."  
  
"He told lies about you. He's lucky no one's sued him for libel yet."  
  
"Yeah. Look, Ben, next time, don't leave me out of the fun."  
  
Ben beams, and it's radiant. "I won't. Cross my heart."  
  
8\. The idea of losing Ben is unfathomable. Even as Poe holds Ben and inhales his scent, he inhales like Ben is the only thing worth breathing. He's got to. He nearly lost him. He can't be without him. His thoughts are like a whirlwind even as Ben holds him. Images haunt his mind long after. Mr. Dameron-Solo. Best pilot in the Republic fleet, devoted soldier, and devoted husband.   
  
The thought is too wonderful and their lives are too fragile. Lisaris nearly killed his Ben. If they can have some degree of happiness before they end up dying, Poe knows that it's more than worth it. And besides, there is no one else that he would rather spend the rest of his life with.   
  
9\. The days leading up to their wedding have been full of their own stress. Not only after the argument between Ben and his mother, but also some of the gossip that's followed Ben around ever since he's talked about getting married to Poe. Things that only accentuate how Ben has been different in the Order, and even that is enough to outrage Poe. How could anyone treat his beloved fiancé as anything less than the beautiful, precious thing he is? He's not a living minefield like Master Naris once put it...he's just Ben. Ben Solo. A savior. A warrior. An angel.   
  
And he proves it that night to Ben. Ben takes in every memory over their link, everything that proves just how perfect Ben is. The way he laughs, the way he smiles, the way he speaks and occasionally gestures with his hands. The freckles that dot his skin. Every time he's comforted Poe after a nightmare, or after a noise has startled him. _I love you,_ Poe says with every memory. _I'll always love you. Completely. No matter what they say about us._  
  
No matter what anyone else says, there's nothing that can stop Poe from loving Ben.   
  
Eventually, Ben says, "You...you do too much for me."  
  
"It's the truth." Poe says. "You are an angel to me, Ben. Always."  
  
  
10\. Poe doesn't think he's known such peace in some time when they first arrive on that distant meadowy planet for their honeymoon. But lying in the grass, he feels something different for the first time in a long while -- a sense of peace and security. He doesn't recall the last time he saw an open sky without explosions of some sort. He lies beside Ben and for the moment, he is at peace.   
  
"You like it?" Ben's voice is a rumble near his ear.   
  
"I love it," Poe says. "Thank you."  
  
"I'd do anything so you're happy."  
  
Poe smiles and takes Ben's hand. "I am happy," he says. "I'm with you."  
  
They lie there, safe in their world for a time, watching the clouds pass by above them.


End file.
